Film #156: 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994)

Directed by: Charles T. Kanganis

Starring: Shit

This film is bollocks.

30%

Film #155: Team America (2004)

Directed by: Trey Parker

Starring: Puppets

America always seems like a massive asshole. They see a small country in a bit of a scuffle and, like the giant wangs they are, jump into the fray, destroy everything and then leave when the going gets tough while the poor country has to clean up all the destruction. To this day I bet they still believe that Vietnam was a "Good Job!"

Anyway, Team America is a parody of that; a group of assholes trying to save a world, that doesn't need their help, from the clutches of Kim Jong-Il and the Film Actors Association.
There are loads of hilarious scenes, especially with the marionette portrayal of some actors like Samuel L Jackson and Matt Damon.

Oh, and you know what's more awkward than watching a movie with a sex scene in it with your parents? Watching a movie with puppets having sex in it with your parents.

80%

Film #154: Karate Kid Part II (1986)

Directed by: John G. Avildsen

Starring: Daniel and Mr Miyagi

Leaving the whole 'Wax-On, Wax-Off' thing behind, this sequel begins where the other finished. This time Miyagi's old enemy shows up and his students try to kick some ass but, using Miyagi's training, Daniel beats them easily.

I enjoyed this film slightly more than the original.

85%

Film #153: Love Actually (2003)

Directed by: Richard Curtis

Starring: Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Rowan Atkinson, Kiera Knightley and many more

This film's about a load of different tales of love, focusing on quite a few people. After a while, they all begin to link together and finally, everyone finds their real love when it reaches Christmas (end of the film).

I really like the way this film is shot, it must be hard to introduce loads of characters, build up their stories, make you fond of them and then bring them together all in a short space of time.

I like this film quite a lot and, even though it wasn't Christmas when I watched it, it's nice to watch throughout the year.

90%

Film #152: Meet The Fockers (2004)

Directed by: Jay Roach

Starring: Same as last time with the inclusion of Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand

Now it's time for everyone to meet Greg's parents. Same concept, just switched.

Still funny and I find Dustin Hoffman's character really awesome and hilarious.

92%

Film #151: Meet The Parents (2000)

Directed by: Jay Roach

Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro

I'm sure almost everyone and their mom has watched this by now. but just incase:
Greg wants to marry his girlfriend, Pam, but first has to meet her parents. Her dad is an ex-CIA agent and does all these lie tests and stuff on Greg, trying to break them up as he deems Greg to be a loser.

There are loads of funny scenes, learning his real name is one of them.

90%

Film #150: The Warriors (1979)

Directed by: Walter Hill

Starring: The Warriors

Woot! Made it to 150! (I am up to date on films, just not on reviews).

Anyway, The Warriors is about the titular gang who are accused of killing a peace-keeper. They now have to somehow find a way back to their home whilst being chased by all gangs out to get them.

It's a really cool film, the different gangs are fun to see and its great to watch some nice, violent action scenes for once.

This film is a cult classic now and one of the best lines ever is: "Waaaariors! Come out to Play-Ay!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xITVFgxcDIg

95%

Film #149: Wedding Daze (2006)

Directed by: Michael Ian Black

Starring: Jason Biggs

Some guy goes crazy and askes a randomer to marry him. She accepts and they get married. The End.
There are some funny parts in a few scenes but nothing spectacular unless you really really want to see Jason Biggs all greased up and in a cupid costume.

70%

Film #148: Evan Almighty (2007)

Directed by: Tom Shadyac

Starring: Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman

Evan the newsreader has moved out of town and is now a congressman. God follows him and askes him to build an ark whilst slowly transforming him into a biblical Noah.

Nice film, not as good as the original Bruce Almighty but I still enjoyed it. Probably because I love Steve Carell.

75%

Film #147: Sunshine (2007)

Directed by: Danny Boyle

Starring: Space men

In the future, the sun is dying so some astronauts go up there to throw a nuclear device into it to re-ignite it.

Some crazy stuff happens when they find the ship from the previous attempt and some crazy bastard freak gets into their ship to stop their plans.

Nice acting, great effects and even if the storyline is a little hard to believe, its very imaginative.

85%

Film # 146: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia Labeouf

I was looking forward to watching this with some friends so I went to the cinema after an exam and watched a really great storyline fall apart in front of me.

Indy 4 picks off 19 years after the last Indy film (Last Crusade) in 1957. The Russians are blowing shit up at that time and everyone believes in aliens because of the recent Roswell activity.

The opening scenes are awesome and so are many of the scenes where we get to see Dr Henry Jones do his archelogical work, such as in Peru.

Unfortunatley, Shia Labeouf's character (I have no problem against the actor himself, just the character) brings down most of the film and the ending was just the nail in the coffin. If George Lucas wanted to mix Indy with Star Wars then he could have made an entirely new franchise, leave Indy alone to fight Nazis who want mythical objects, not outer-space paraphernalia.

I did enjoy the film, however, and it did have a funny death (as all Indy films should), it's just a shame about the ending. If they do make an Indy 5, I hope they leave aliens out of it.

90%

Film #145: Adrift (2006)

Directed by: Hans Horn

Starring: Some rich assholes with a yacht

Some douchebags go on a yachting trip, go in the sea and some dipshit forgets to deploy the ladders, stranding them all in the ocean. They all die. I have just ruined a terrible movie for you so that you do not have to watch it, thank me.

50%

Film #144: Eurotrip (2004)

Directed by: Jeff Schaffer

Starring: A bunch of Americans who find Europe funny

Some guy falls in love over the internet to a German chick and decides to go after her with his outrageous friends and they have crazy adventures throughout Europe. The End.

65%

Film #143: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Directed by: Gore Verbinski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley

The first Pirates film was great and this one was only slightly worse. I know a lot of people who say that this on is crap and the worst one but nothing can beat the shittest piece of shit that was At World's End, that was the most horrific piece of crap that I have ever witnessed at the cinema.

Anyway, from end to finish, this film has action, what's not to like?

It introduces Davy Jones and the Kraken (who, may I say, is wrongfully killed off in the final film and we're not even told how or why).

It's alright.

70%

Film #142: Mr. Brooks (2007)

Directed by: Bruce A. Evans

Starring: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, William Hurt

Mr. Brooks is a normal guy. Or so it seems...
He kills people, he's a teensy bit crazy. Some guy witnesses a murder and blackmails him until he shows him how to kill like him. Some stuff happens and its all crazy.
There are quite a few plot twists so it's hard to keep up. Other than that, it's alright.

75%

Film #141: Iron Man (2008)

Directed by: Jon Favreau

Starring; Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow

I am a BIG fan of Iron Man and so I almost peed myself when I went to see this.

Downey Jr is excellent as Tony Stark, billionaire playboy who has an accident and becomes Iron Man.

This blog is actually really late, I saw this film around 20th May and got the DVD for it on 24th October and it is now the 14th November. Yikes, sorry.

Anyway, I love this film. Excellent storyline, excellent acting, excellent effects, excellent bad guy, what more could you want? Humour? You got it! Cameos from the director and Stan Lee? It's there! Iron Man kicking shit into terrorists? There's a town full of them!

Awesome.

98%

Film #140: My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Directed by: Joel Zwick

Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett

Greeks are very similar to Italians; massive families, arrogant, eating all the time etc. That is why I like this film, because my family is Italian, I find extra humour in this film than say an English person would.

It reminded me very much of my family and some of the lines on there are usually pointed out at family parties such as my cousin's wedding just gone; old women would try to 'snap [girls] like chickens' because they look to thin, they would eat all the time and there are about a billion of them there, crying at the church and pinning money to the bride.

It's scary how alike it is.

For this special kind of humour that is rarely seen, I like this film and I'll give it:

95%

Film #139: Cool Runnings (1993)

Directed by: Jon Turteltaub

Starring: The Jamaican bobsled team and John Candy

"Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's bobsled time! Cool Runnings!"

Truth is, I love this film. I used to watch it a lot as a kid and when ever it's on the TV, I like to watch it.

Basically, Jamaica set-up a bobsled team with the help of John Candy. It's based on a true story apparently and it has some laughs along the way, who doesn't love rastafarians?

85%

Film #138: The Sound of Music (1965)

Directed by: Robert Wise

Starring: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer

Everyone raves on about this film but the fact is is that this film is terrible. It's an atrocity and if you have any dignity, you will never watch it. I was forced to watch it when I was younger in school and I thought I would give it another try, how wrong I was.

20%

Film #137: Hook (1991)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman

When I was a kid, I absolutely loved this film. I still love it now.

Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams do great jobs and deliver unforgettable performances.

On of the best lines though is when that one pirate goes "Save me Daddy!" It's an in-joke thing.

90%

Film #136: The Wrong Trousers (1993)

Directed by: Nick Park

Starring: Wallace, Gromit, Feathers McGraw

It's Gromit's birthday and Wallace gets him some waling legs to take him on his walks. Meanwhile, they have financial problems and so they rent one of their rooms to a 'chicken' who later turns out to be a penguin called Feathers McGraw who uses the trousers with Wallace inside them to rob a museum. Hilarity ensues.

90%

Film #135: Total Recall (1990)

Directed by: Paul Verhoeven

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnie wants a vacation, so he goes to Mars. When he's there, he finds mutants and some stuff goes wrong and he has to fight people to give the freaks some air.

Oh, and when you go into the Martian air, this happens:

Funny stuff.

90%

Film #134: Under Seige 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Directed by: Geoff Murphy

Starring: Steven Seagal

The sequel to the awesome Under Seige, Under Seige 2 isn't as good as it's predecessor but still does a good job.

The action is great and because it's Steven Seagal, it's going to be.

It's a shame the villain was crap.

80%

Film #133: Six Days Seven Nights (1998)

Directed by: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Harrison Ford, Anne Heche

Another Harrison Ford film. This time he's a pilot who takes an engaged woman to a small Hawaiin Island when her fiance has to do some work. They crash and are trapped there and eventually fall in love after escaping some pirates.

It's alright but not that great.

70%

Film #132: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery

The third film in the quadrilogy and possibly the best one.

This time Indy goes to find his father who has been captured by Nazis and then to find the Holy Grail. It's filled with action and puzzles to please everyone. And, as every Indy film should have, it has a funny death; this time a Nazi ages rapidly and turns to dust:(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DGFuHC75aY&feature=related)

96%

Film #131: Daddy Day Care (2003)

Directed by: Steve Carr

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin, Steve Zahn

Eddie Murphy isn't what he used to be; funny. Daddy Day Care relies on toilet jokes and slapstick humour to be funny and even though it is a great family film, its not that great overall.

70%

Film #130: Along Came Polly (2004)

Directed by: John Hamburg

Starring: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston

Ben Stiller seems to be in everything these days. I mean, he's a funny guy but he does seem to be in a lot of films.
This film has a few funny parts but the chemistry between the two characters is awkward to watch.

70%

Film #129: Ghost Buster II (1989)

Directed by: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson

The Ghostbusters are back in this sequel which has them fighting an evil painting that feeds off of New York's rage and he needs a new body to become alive in.

I love the Ghostbusters because of the humour that each of the characters have and the silly things in the films such as the Statue of Liberty moving to the sound of 'Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher'.

95%

Film #128: Big Momma's House 2 (2006)

Directed by: John Whitesell

Starring: Martin Lawrence

I think that the first Big Momma film was fine on its own and that there was absolutely no need for a sequel, especially if the sequel is quite bad.

Watch this if you want a few laughs but don't expect anything spectacular.

65%

Film #127: Over Her Dead Body (2008)

Directed by: Jeff Lowell

Starring: Even more bad actors

This film is extremely terrible and extremely cheesy.
For the love of God, do not watch this.

0%

Film #126: Exit Wounds (2001)

Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Starring: Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal is one of those ultra action stars like Chuck Norris; he does loads of stunts and pulls off tricks that are impossible to do so that the film is supposed to be serious but actually looks like a comedy.

Exit Wounds isn't as good as his earlier stuff but is still alright.

70%

Film #125: Sudden Death (1995)

Directed by: Peter Hyams

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme

Jean-Claude is a fireman who takes his kids to an ice hockey game. The vice president is also there and some terrorists decide to hold him hostage and take lots of money.

It has some very nice action scenes and the plot is easy to understand. Critics say that it's a Die Hard rip-off but I like it.

80%

Film #124: Hero (2002)

Directed by: Zhang Yimou

Starring: Jet Li

Chinese martial arts film about a guy who claims to have killed some major assassins and gets an audience with the emperor to tell him the story of how it was done.

Some very nice action sequences in there and even though the story is slightly confusing, it is still a great film.

89%

Film #123: Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Harrison Ford

The second film in the quadrilogy but the first chronologically. This film has Indy and his sidekick Short-Round travel to India to help a village and stop Mola Ram from destroying everything with his Kali Ma power.

Everyone says that this film doesn't compare to the others but I really enjoy it. It has a nice plot, loads of action and a funny death.

94%

Film #122: The Golden Compass (2007)

Directed by: Chris Weltz

Starring: Bad actors

A truly terrible film. The plot is one of the worst things I have ever seen and the acting is terrible, especially from the children.
Do not see this film. I'm not sure if the book is any better but I do know that it can't be any worse.

5%

Film #121: The Jewel Of The Nile (1985)

Directed by: Lewis Teague

Starring: Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, Danny Devito

Sequel to Romancing the Stone (which I watch later on in the year since it's still April 30th when I watched this film), this film is about the adventures of Joan and Jack when they try to find the jewel of the Nile.

It's an OK film but I prefer the first one.

70%

Film #120: The Hole (2001)

Directed by: Nick Hamm

Starring: Thora Birch

Some teenagers don't want to go on a field trip so get themselves locked down a hole-like bunker. A crazy bitch doesn't tell them that she has the key and they all die except her.
She gets away with it by blaming someone else.
Its an OK film but not that great.

75%

Film #119: East Is East (1999)

Directed by: Damien O'Donnell

Starring: Om Puri

Comedy about a Pakistani family living in Salford in the 70's. The dad wants his family to grow up like pakistanis but his children want to pursue other things.
Great film.

85%

Film #118: Inspector Gadget (1999)

Directed by: David Kellogg

Starring: Matthew Broderick

Everyone knows that theme tune. The classic 80's cartoon become real-life and does a nice job.

Even though it may be darker than the cartoon I enjoy it a little more. Great for kids, silly for adults.

80%

Film #117: 30 Days Of Night (2007)

Directed by: David Slade

Starring: Josh Hartnett and lots of vampires

Like I said, I like vampire movies. This one is a lot more gory that the others I've seen though, that does not make it better though.

The story is that in Alaska they have 30 days of night and when that happens, some vampires come out and eat people, a group try to survive these 30 days.

The vamps in this film are ugly bastards and don't take no shit from no-one. They also speak some weird language.

The plot does kind of freak me out. Usually its just one night with a vamp or two but this is a whole 30 days (should be 67) with them.

70%

Film #116: Porco Rosso (1992)

Directed by: Hayao Miyazaki

Starring: More Japanes people (or Michael Keaton if you prefer dubs)

I love this film.

A man is cursed to being a pig-man and calls himself Porco Rosso (the Crimson Pig). He's the best pilot in the region and fights off air-pirates.

My favourite part is the fight at the end or the re-building of his plane.

Watch it now!

98%

Film #115: Blue Harvest (2007)

Directed by: Dominic Polcino

Starring: Family Guy Cast

I'm counting it as a movie because it's long.

Family Guy do Star Wars and make it funny.

The problem with Family Guy is is that it's over-rated and tries so hard to be funny sometimes that the lamest jokes go on for a few minutes and become painful to watch.

On the plus side, it has lots more funny things that only people who love Star Wars would get.

75%

Film #114: Spirited Away (2001)

Directed by: Hayao Miyazaki

Starring: Japanese people

Like I've said before, Studio Ghibli do awesome films. This is one of the greatest.

Chihiro, a young girl who is moving with her parents, stumble across a fantasy world with demons and spirits. Her parents turn into pigs and she must find a way to change them back and return to her home world.

Almost perfect in every way.

99%

Film #113: Music and Lyrics (2007)

Directed by: Marc Lawrence

Starring: Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore

This film is not that great. It has some bad songs and bad acting. Oh, and don't forget the bad plot.

60%

Film #112: The 6th Day (2000)

Directed by: Roger Spottiswoode

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnie gets cloned and doesn't know if he is the real deal or a fake. Some guys think he's fake and try to kill him. He's now got to stop them and find answers.

Nice film with a tad confusing plot.

80%

Film #111: Back To The Future Part II (1989)

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Same people as last time

A slightly worse sequel but still pretty good. I enjoy it loads.

This time, Marty goes to the future to stop Biff from being a massive cock.

90%

Film #110: Failure To Launch (2006)

Directed by: Tom Dey

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker

Terrible film. I don't know what's worse; the film's plot or watching Sarah Jessica Parker's face for an hour and a half. Family Guy had it right when saying that she looks like a foot.

Don't see this film. It's terrible.

20%

Film #109: Deception (Reindeer Games) (2000)

Directed by: John Frankenheimer

Starring: Ben Affleck

First off, when checking on this film I was confused when I could find it, that was until I found out that it was actually called Reindeer Games everywhere else except here. Weird.

Its not that great and has loads of plot twists so I wouldn't really recommend it.

50%

Film #108: The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Directed by: Sofia Coppola

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Kathleen Turner, Josh Hartnett, James Woods etc

Five girls decide that they don't like life and kill themselves. Thats that whole story but they still manage to get about 1 1/2 hours out of that.

I did think it was a good film but I still think the plot's a little shitty.

80%

Film #107: Conspiracy Theory (1997)

Directed by: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts

Mel Gibson goes crazy and says some stuff about conspiracies. Julia Roberts helps him out and they find out what the hell is going on.

It's an OK film I suppose.

75%

Film #106: She's All That (1999)

Directed by: Robert Iscove

Starring: Freddy Prinze Jr, Rachel Leigh Cook

A romantic comedy, not that great but not bad either.

Meh.

70%

Film #105: American Pie 2 (2001)

Directed by: James B. Rogers

Starring: The same cast as the last one

I know everyone says that films get worse as they get more sequels but I actually prefer this one to the others. It's my favourite out of the three (I'm not including those terrible straight-to-DVD cash-ins like Beta House or Band Camp) and has the funniest moments in it.

97%

Film #104: Back To The Future (1985)

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd

Awesome film. If you haven't seen this then shame on you, go back to your cave.

Everything about this film is brilliant and I love it.

98%

Film #103: Flubber (1997)

Directed by: Les Mayfield

Starring: Robin Williams

I used to like this film when I was younger and I still enjoy it now but not as much as I used to. Its still a nice film and has some great parts for kids.

80%

Film #102: John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

Directed by: John Carpenter

Starring: People and Vampires

I like vampire films. I think they're cool. I especially like them when people go on mass vampire-killing sprees. So there's no surprise that this film got my attention in the first 5 minutes when a bunch of guys bust open a door and kill about 20 vamps.

Its a good film and I recommend it to Vamp-lovers out there.

85%

Film #101: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

Directed by: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller

A great film filled to the brim with funny scenes. I especially love the ending scene with a fat Ben Stiller dancing to "Milkshake".

The cameo from Chuck Norris only made this better.

92%

Film #100: American Pie (1999)

Directed by: Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz

Starring: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eugene Levy

Everyone has seen it, everyone has laughed at it. Do I really need to explain what it's about and how good it is? I don't think so either.

96%

Film #99: Sister Act (1992)

Directed by: Emile Ardolino

Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Maggie Smith

Whoopi Goldberg is a singer in Las Vegas and witnesses a murder. She is put in protective custody in a nunnery and must blend in with them. She gets fed up with the nuns activities and decides to join the choir and make it more lively.

It's a nice film with some funny scenes.

80%